All At Once
by paresthesia
Summary: "You are still stuck in time," Mori pointed out. "You are not moving forward. You are living each day as it is, but you are still blind." Mori finds himself drawn to his classmate, Rei, over the years as she deals with loss, heartbreak and pain. Mori x OC. Two-shot.
1. Past

**Past**

He was a third year, tall and mighty while he stood over the halls beside his cousin. To his peripheral vision he noticed her again, it was a daily occurrence – their brief moments of eye contact throughout their days. She always looked away, her expression delicate and timid before she walked to class to avoid the crowd of girls that had already gathered around him and his cousin.

He had known her for years, his first memory of her in middle school as a quiet student who sat at the back. He noticed her eyes first when she walked into the classroom, that was how they met. No words to be spoken, just a mutual acknowledgement of each other's presence.

She took a seat far from him, following the seating plan as requested. When the teacher asked for the new student's introduction, she stood and introduced herself as Nanami Rei to the class. She said nothing more and sat back down.

Rumours began spreading about the girl as they wondered why she wore no uniform. No one tried befriending her, nor did she seem interested in wanting to be friends with anyone. She was so quiet to the point that she was invisible. Nobody cared to speak to her, even though she had no aura of intimidation.

She looked friendly, although distant. Mori turned away from the girl and averted his attention back to his cousin who asked if he would come to the sweet shop with him after class. He nodded.

* * *

Another time, he caught her reading in the library and that was when it all began. Mori had been researching for a science project and was on his way to check out a book. His attention was caught when he watched another boy approaching her to ask what she was reading. She responded and went back to the task.

"Why don't you smile?" the boy nudged her shoulder. She gave a small smile and looked back down to her book. Mori was tempted to tell the boy to go away so that he would stop bothering her. But it didn't look like she was bothered.

He knew that boy.

He was the son of a man that was in the high ranks of the yakuza. Mori withheld his judgement from the boy when he noticed him making her smile. He checked out the book and left the two alone.

* * *

She was always by herself, except for that boy who came around every so often. He noticed them on the bench one day, sitting in the courtyard. He was asking her questions, and she responded. She said nothing more than needed and nothing less than what was asked. Them spending time together was not a strange occurrence. The boy came around more often to see the girl and Mori took note.

Did she seem peculiar? Not to Mori. Not to the boy. She was intriguing.

It was a sunny day and the light illuminated her dark brown hair that reached her waist. She sat comfortably on the bench, her arms crossed as she looked toward the fountain and away from the boy. She listened to him. Mori found that they had that trait in common. They often were the listeners.

He watched from a window that faced them on the bench. The boy tapped her on the shoulder as if to ask her to look at him. She did.

He kissed her sweetly on the lips.

And she smiled.

Mori left.

* * *

Mori was heading home from kendo practice one afternoon. As he was walking down the halls of Ouran he saw the two again. It had been months since he'd seen them. The boy played with her hair while she studied for their German exam outside under the gazebo. Mori knew, because he had nearly had the same classes with Rei together for two years in a row. She was intelligent, always top of the class. She began beating him last year in overall exams.

Mori watched as the boy moved hair out of her pale face, placing the strands behind her ear to kiss her cheek. He then took her book and placed them to the side. He spoke to her.

Mori wondered what he was saying.

How beautiful she looked? How intelligent she was? How he wanted to play with her, not watch her? His mind contemplated the possibilities.

Mori turned from the window and kept walking.

* * *

One day after the summer break, she dyed her hair. The dark brown was then lightened to a rich, auburn-red colour. She still kept the same distant demeanour from everybody. Nobody really noticed the drastic change, and it didn't seem like she cared if anybody did bother to comment.

Sometimes she braided her hair. Other times, she placed it in a high ponytail when they wrote tests. There was a fringe that framed her face. Her eyes were brown. It was the first thing you'd notice about her. Her eyes were rather large in proportion to her small face.

But it didn't matter what colour her hair was. Every morning, they made eye contact and each time they looked away without a single thought.

Mori walked by an empty classroom during his lunch break. He was looking for Honey but instead he caught a smidge of their conversation.

"Are you avoiding me?"  
"I suppose I am."  
"Why?" He sounded angry.  
"Father isn't happy about you."  
"What have I done wrong?" He raised his voice. "I want nothing more than to be with you."  
"I know."  
"So what do you want? Do you want me to leave? Do you want me to break this off?"

Mori never stayed long enough to hear the answer.

Many adults would have scoffed at their age. They were only children after all. No one cared enough to take their feelings seriously, no matter how serious it seemed. They were just barely in high school, with their last year in middle school to complete. Mori knew that she knew this too.

Adults often had a habit of dismissing the emotion of children. They had heard it all before. They were silly and young. They didn't know what love was. Relationships were never meant to last at their age. Everything was bound to end in pain and sorrow, needless pain was what many adults would agree to describe teenage heartbreak as.

Mori continued to look for his cousin.

* * *

The boy's name was Kai. Just Kai, nothing more, nothing less. He had dark hair, but there were streaks of red, something that he had done over their winter break. He stood tall with a thin frame. His eyes were a dark brown, but looked more obsidian at first glance. He stood aloof with a smirk on his face. His expression begged to scream that he was nothing more than trouble to adults.

Mori was patiently waiting for Honey by the school's entrance gate when he saw the boy smoking with a group of friends. He laughed and joked with them. They were a rowdy group of kids, except for him. He stood his ground without ever needing to raise his voice. He was the voice of the group. He was the leader.

There was a tug on his pant leg and he looked down to his bright eyed cousin.

"Takashi, let's go. I don't like them," Honey pleaded.

Mori lifted his cousin up to his shoulders and turned away from the group.

"Do you know them, Takashi?"  
"No."  
"Were they interesting then?"  
"I guess."

Honey giggled and changed the topic to what he wanted to eat for dinner. Strawberry cake, the usual. Mori put his little cousin down when their car came to pick them up. His mind was preoccupied with the boy, Kai. But mostly, his mind wandered to Rei.

* * *

Mori came to note that it was a daily occurrence to see them together in the cold or in the warm weather, in rain or shine. They took a spot behind a pillar and beneath shelter on the particularly bad days. When days were nice, they spent their lunch breaks and occasionally time after school on their usual bench.

On a windy day, she sat there quietly reading her novel. Her hair had changed to a shade of brown. She began wearing makeup this year. It was their first year of high school. However, it wasn't very noticeable. Only a little bit of eyeliner, and the occasional tint of colour on her lips. He sat beside her on the same bench, his back leaning against her shoulder as he lit his cigarette.

They talked less now.

When he was done with the cigarette, he got rid of the last bit and threw it into the fountain. Rei frowned at the gesture and shook her head disapprovingly. The boy only smiled and kissed her cheek, as if to reassure her that it didn't matter.

Her nose scrunched up and she closed the book.

She said something and he held his hand out. They made a pinky promise.

Mori turned away, again.

* * *

He saw Kai smoking on a daily basis and hanging around other sons of the yakuza. Their parents had enough money to spare for their children's education. Unfortunately many of these kids followed in their parents' footsteps. He overheard him making plans of going out that night, marking his father's territory in the city. But what Mori never saw again, was him smoking in front of Rei.

She didn't like him smoking, but she never stopped him from doing so.

Did that make her bad?

Mori could not decide. It was never a choice for him to start or stop thinking about her. She was a daily occurrence. A day was not complete if he didn't think about her and Mori never cared to know why his mind wandered towards Rei. Thoughts of Rei never bothered Mori.

Kai never bothered Mori either. They never spoke, nor did Kai ever notice him staring. Mori was never jealous of the boy. He was uneasy about him around Rei, but never once had Kai hurt her. He only made her smile. He was playful and she was reserved. Mori could not deny that Kai was in love. How silly it seemed, to be in love when they were so young.

But their love was not silly.

Mori finally understood.

He felt envy.

He was envious of them.

* * *

She had grown taller over the years, her stature was still frail like her personality. Mori could not help but to steal more glances at her now. She smiled occasionally, towards the pages of her books or to Kai. She kept a small smile when classmates asked her questions but she never changed.

She was distant but never cold.

Kai came to school less often. Their relationship seemed to be the same. Kai only came to school to see her. He stole a couple kisses here and there, told her stories while she listened intently. He was in love with her because she was his only constant. He lived in a world of darkness while she brought him the only thing that made him feel happy.

And she didn't mind.

Because every time she looked into his eyes, he was sincere and that was all that made her stay.

Mori always stopped to watch them. The more he watched, the more he ached.

* * *

There was one day when Mori had mustered up the courage to ask her something.

She was sitting in the library, studying for their history exam. As usual, she found a spot by the window because it seemed to him that Rei liked looking outside when she needed a break. Mori took a seat in front of her quietly. He wondered if he was too quiet to the point that she didn't even look up. Was she too engrossed in the textbook?

But she knew he was there. Rei stopped writing after a few minutes and looked up to see the tall boy she shared glances with over the past few years. They had never been so physically close before.

"Hello," she politely greeted.  
He nodded in acknowledgement.

She never asked him to leave. She let him sit there as he pleased. Mori opened up his textbook and pretended to be studying. He couldn't even if he tried.

"Why do you love him?"

Rei stopped midway through her writing and looked at the tall boy. She didn't seem offended, just caught off guard. Rei couldn't offer much of an answer except a shrug. She couldn't help it. She saw Kai in ways nobody else did. She was too deep in the whirlpool of emotions to even try to escape. Rei let herself go and accepted whatever sorrow was in store for the future.

"Is it worth it?"  
"I don't know yet."

And with that, Mori left her.

* * *

Kai never came to school in their second year. Rei still sat in their spot, as if she waited for him. Mori walked home one day, alone because Honey was sick at home. Mori heard rumours that spread about Kai being injured in a gang fight but they were only rumours after all. A few weeks later, whispers of Kai being brutally stabbed that eventually caused his death circulated around the school. But Rei still sat there in the autumn cold, a book in hand and her hair pinned in a messy bun.

Mori still made eye contact with her every morning, but by the end of the day she never attended class. Their literature class always had one empty seat.

One afternoon, Mori had handed in his assignment early to go to his kendo practice as instructed by his coach. Tournaments were beginning soon and he had given special privilege to skip his last class, as long as he completed all the work required. He walked by his usual route within the school, the one that always passed by the windows to the courtyard.

She sat there alone. No book in hand. Mori checked the time on his wrist. He still had time before practice. Before he knew it, his legs took him outside to the courtyard to find the girl smoking a cigarette. She looked eerily calm.

It was the same Rei he had known since middle school. Her hair had been swept up in a ponytail and her makeup was done the usual way. She closed her eyes as she took another drag and exhaled. Rei let the wind take away the smoke before crossing her legs to shield herself from the cold. She wore a thin navy blue scarf and pea jacket.

Mori took a seat beside the girl. Rei didn't even bother hiding the cigarette. She was never the type to ignore somebody, and as such she turned to acknowledge the boy's presence beside her.

"You can get suspended for that," he reminded. Mori made no gesture to take away the cigarette. She wasn't a child and Rei knew very well about the consequences about smoking on school property. Rei only nodded before taking another drag.

"Do you smoke often?"  
"Only on particularly bad days."

That was all the time he had for her today. Mori stood up and left her to her own thoughts.

The next day, she sat behind the pillar with a book in hand. Rei sat there reading like it was her usual routine. She waited for him to come back, and they both knew it was only wishful thinking.

* * *

Honey brought up the subject one day, after their host club meeting when he noticed his cousin being quieter than usual.

"Do you like her, Takashi?" Honey wasn't blind. At first when he noticed Mori's glances towards the girl, he figured it was a coincidence. It always happened in the mornings. But to have it as a daily occurrence over the last few years? That would have been silly to dismiss as a mere coincidence. Honey had to admit that he wasn't particularly happy about it when he began to realize that Mori had developed a peculiar connection with her.

But Honey was not unreasonable. He loved his cousin and he wanted nothing more than happiness for him, even if it meant that Mori was no longer by his side. It took years to come to this conclusion and today, Honey had the courage to ask him about it.

But Mori said nothing and only looked away. He had a duty to Honey and Rei was not allowed to come between his family.

He felt another tug on his pant leg. He looked down to his cousin, his eyes pleaded for him to listen.

"It is okay if you do, Takashi."

Mori picked up his cousin and placed him on his shoulders. They walked home together.

* * *

Her grades slipped that year, or so far in the year. It was only half way through. She was no longer top of the class, a surprise for Mori when he noticed his name above hers. She wasn't in class to see the results. Rei already knew the results without having to check.

Mori wondered a lot about her. What did it feel like to deal with loss like that? Every so often, Mori saw her smoking outside in their usual spot. It was never a daily occurrence. Just any day, every couple of months, he'd find her in a haze. She never came back to class after she smoked. It must have been too much risk to be caught if she dared to step back into the classroom.

Mori found her behind the pillar that they used to exchange kisses behind. They spent their time together on particularly bad days, taking shelter from the cold or wind. She was sitting down, her back aligned against the stone while she basked in the shade. She cut her dark hair to her shoulder this year and wore her eyeliner a little thicker than years before. Always uniform-less, she kept an oversized hoodie over her to shield her from the cool breeze. The hoodie wasn't hers. It was his.

"Not a particularly bad day today?" Mori asked before sitting down across from her. They were alone.

She shook her head. "But every day is still a bad day."

They sat in silence for a while. Rei never told him to leave and Mori wouldn't have left even if she asked. She seemed like a hollow body filled with nothing but sorrow.

"I'm pathetic," she softly murmured.

Mori had no words to say. She did not cry. Her large eyes told him that she had no tears left to spare. She was well aware of what her behaviour seemed like and she asked for no sympathy from anybody. She was not ashamed of how she felt.

It was pathetic to any outsider. She was a heartbroken teenager mourning the loss of her boyfriend who happened to make the wrong choices. It was typical. Smoking was another outlet for her to mourn, to remember him, to pretend that he was alive. She made bad choices and she was well aware of them.

To Mori, she was broken but she was not lost. Staying high allowed her to keep him off her mind. She was mature enough to make choices without losing sight of the consequences.

"But I am not stupid," Rei finished. She got up and walked away. It was time to go home.

* * *

It was in nobody's place to judge what they had between each other. Rei still sat on the bench and read her novels on a daily basis. She took up the whole space now that he was gone, lifting her legs to block anyone from sitting beside her even though nobody did. Mori watched her read intently as the year went by.

It was a particularly cloudy day, with the rain threatening to pour any second. It didn't scare her. She sat on the bench, as if waiting to be soaked in the freezing cold water. Mori had been walking to their comparative literature class when he noticed her sitting there in another daze.

He couldn't help but to walk outside. Mori found himself sitting beside Rei once again, on the verge of being caught in a thunderstorm.

"You should go to class," she suggested. She had no malice in her words. It was nothing more than a friendly suggestion.  
"Only if you go," Mori answered.

She always skipped the last class of the day. Mori never knew why. They listened to the wind howling and the dried leaves that scratched against the grey pavement.

"Do you miss him?"  
She nodded.

"What do you miss most?"

Rei looked towards the sky and back to the ground. "I miss his voice." Kai often told her stories, or made her promises. He never failed to remind her that she was pretty, or that she should smile more often. He was sincere and he made her stay for him without even having to try.

She took a deep breath and sat back on the bench. "We had no future," she whispered. "I just thought we would at least have more time." Mori nodded in understanding.

A big cackle of thunder was heard before the rain fell like bullets. She had closed her eyes and her tears were camouflaged with the freezing rain. She sniffed and let the tears fall onto her cheeks. Rei let the pelting of water drown out her sniffling and whimpers. Within minutes, the rain ceased and the sun peaked out from the clouds.

She wiped away the water off her cheeks and glanced at the boy who only watched her cry. Mori was unsure of what to say.

"You should have gone to class," Rei tried to smile again as if to prove her point. She was soaked from head to toe and stood from their usual bench.

"Where are you going?" Mori asked.  
"Home," she responded. "You should too, before you get sick."

And this time, he took her suggestion.

* * *

Mori saw her studying more often in the library instead of being outside in the courtyard. Casually, he took a seat across from her and began studying as well. As usual, she never went to her last period class. Mori closed his book. And yet with one look at her, he somehow wanted to find an excuse to stay.

"Why don't you go to class?"

She finished off her note and answered the question.

"My father teaches literature. I am exempted because I turn in all my assignments at least a week earlier than everybody."

Mori nodded. Was that an unfair advantage? Perhaps not. There was no rule against it in the student handbook. Rei was conscientious enough to have read the manual at least ten times over before attempting such a thing.

But this explained a lot. Her father was a professor, and as such, she was exempted from wearing a uniform so long as she was a scholarship student.

"He is a good teacher."  
"So I've heard."  
"Is he not?"  
Rei shrugged. "He's just my father."

She looked back down to her note. She was nearly finished with the topic anyway. She had a spare period like Mori did after lunch and she planned to skip the last class as usual. Rei picked up her pen and finished the last sentence.

When she looked up, he was still there. His gaze gentle and curious. He was an odd one, showing up every once in a while. He was often surrounded by a group of girls in the morning and home form and that was all she knew of him.

"Was he worth it?"

They were back full circle with the same question he had asked years ago. Rei shrugged again and looked outside. She knew exactly what he meant and Mori never had to explain any further. _Was Kai worth the pain and heartbreak?_ She sighed.

"I don't know still."

She never asked why he wanted to know. But a part of her was glad that he noticed while everyone else had no clue. Rei was not as invisible as she thought. It was kind of him.

"Why?"

His voice never demanded an answer. It was quiet, welcoming almost. He never seemed to judge her for her choices, however poor they were. He still came back. He still glanced at her every morning and that was how she knew he never minded.

"I'm not silly enough to waste my life mourning." That was why she got back on track with her studies, Mori noticed. "But I can't lie to myself and say that I don't miss him every day."

"How deep?"

_How deep in love were you? How far were you willing to go for him?_ It was almost a strange skill that Rei was able to translate his questions without having much difficulty understanding his vague nature. She looked out the window and contemplated his question.

"On a good day, I would have run away with him. Most days, I would have kissed him and gone home feeling hopeless."

Their relationship was not perfect. Some days, Rei was deluded by the idea that love would have taken them to places so long as they were happy. She forgot that they were too young. Those were good days, the kind that you never wanted to end; those days that you could escape reality.

And most days, Rei was level headed enough to have a few hours of bliss with him. Then gone home with the reminder hanging over her head, telling her that she was only delaying the inevitable separation between the two. She was the daughter of a professor, and he was the son of a criminal. She couldn't change him, it wasn't her job to change a person against their will. Instead, Rei loved him for all his flaws. She did what she did best – stay for him.

Mori understood what she meant.

"And were most days worth it?"  
"They used to be. But now, I am not so sure."

"Are you angry?" _Are you angry at him for leaving you? _was what he meant.  
Rei looked at the boy who sat across from her. "Never for long." She was eternally forgiving to the boy who had broken her into pieces. Mori wondered how she was able to do that.

She stared at Mori for the first time. He had a sharp jaw, his shoulders were broad. His dark brown eyes stared back at her, his gaze was never fearing although Rei had a feeling that he could very well seem dangerous if need be. He was still an odd ball in her books. Quiet and soft spoken, he was much different than he seemed from afar.

"You should be in class," Rei reminded.  
He shook his head. He didn't want to be in class. He wanted to speak with her.

She couldn't force him to go to class, so instead she asked if he would take a walk with her in the courtyard. He followed along, slowly trailing behind her as if afraid to take the empty spot beside her. The spot was still reserved for him and it felt wrong for Mori to take. It was the honourable thing to do.

She stopped beneath the bell tower and opened the door to climb up to the top. It was a steeper climb than expected, but at the top of the clock, there was an observatory. There it held a beautiful view of the entire campus.

"I wanted to show it to him."  
"Why didn't you?"  
"I found it too late."

She leaned on the railing, and looked around. "He liked to explore."  
"But you liked to read," Mori noted. Rei looked away and smiled.  
"Yeah, I liked to read," she repeated after him.

Mori found the place peaceful, and right when he found himself at peace the clock tower rang its bells. It was a shock and he gripped the railing a little tighter than he did before. Rei noticed but did not say anything. Kai would have gripped onto her and swore loudly. Then they would've both laughed. She found herself chuckling to thin air, prompting Mori to clear his throat out of embarrassment.

"Did you always watch us from afar?" It was the first question she asked him. To which he silently replied with a gesture that became all too familiar. He wasn't a man of words, apparently. Mori nodded.

"It wasn't sickening?" Rei shook her head at all the times he stole kisses behind pillars, or the days when Kai felt so tired that he slept with her in his arms while she read.

He shook his head. He envied them, mostly. Though he couldn't quite understand why he envied them so much.

"You are strange," the girl shook her head in confusion. "But kind," Rei didn't forget to add the most important part. "Thank you."

Her thank you was showing him the clock tower, because now there was nobody else to show if it hadn't been for him. She thanked him for listening to her, for being the only person who bothered to care. She left him on the top of the tower and walked home. He listened to the quiet tapping of her shoes while she walked down the staircase.

Mori sat down and admired the view. He watched her walk out of the clock tower, her long hair flowing with the wind.

* * *

"Takashi, where were you? I was trying to find you after your literature class," Honey pouted.  
"Sorry," was all Mori could say before the two went off to their host club duties.

During the host club, he found himself in a daze. Of course, the girls deemed it as normal when Mori didn't reply straight away to their questions. It gave him more of a mysterious aura and thus, allowed for Mori to find himself thinking more about her than usual without any consequence. Honey ate his chocolate cake happily, and nudged his cousin to eat some. He opened his mouth obligingly, chewing the overly sweet dessert with no complaints.

When the club hours ended, Honey held onto his cousin's hand tightly and swung it back and forth while they made their way home.

"Did you go somewhere after class today?"  
Mori shook his head. It wasn't a lie, technically. He was somewhere during class.  
"Were you with the girl?" Honey wondered. "She seems nice."  
Mori did not answer.

"Are you in love with her?" his cousin stopped in his tracks and waited for an answer. He frowned when Mori stayed silent. "Takashi," Honey dragged out his cousin's name. "Please answer."

Mori could only blink. He didn't know if he was in love with her. He was only intrigued by her.

"No." _  
_"Okay," Honey did not want to upset his cousin. But he was still saddened by the idea of them parting ways one day. Honey had given Mori permission to like her and Mori, who could not forgive himself from deterring from the family duties, knew to make the proper choice. Only that even Honey knew it wasn't the right choice.

The pair continued walking as usual.

* * *

She became top of the class by the end of the year. Of course, she was never there to check her results. Rei had been in the gardens, slowly making her way through the maze. Kai used to make bets with her on who would beat the maze first and the loser had to owe the other a favour. He would waste his favours on her affection, usually another kiss as if he didn't steal enough from her already. At the end of the day, he wanted nothing but her. Rei would ask him to bring her things. It varied from books to flowers, and office stationary to food. Rei missed him today, and it was beginning to turn into a particularly bad day. It was sunny and bright. It would have been such a shame for it to turn into a bad day.

And on this particularly bad day, Mori had found her at the end of the maze. He stood there, his back leaning against the tall shrub beneath the shade. He didn't say anything when Rei saw him, and it wasn't a surprise to her when he didn't properly greet her unless she did so first.

"Hi," she spoke softly. He only nodded.

Rei kept walking and he trailed behind her, still careful not to walk beside her. She stopped near a bed of flowers and admired the butterflies that gracefully made their way to pollinate the lilies. Rei walked through the gardens today, remembering Kai's yearly tradition.

"He would bring wildflowers for me today," Rei whispered, to no one in particular. But Mori always heard her quiet voice.

"Why?" his deep voice contrasted greatly against hers.

"Because I made top of the class, did I not?" She certainly hoped so.  
"You did," Mori confirmed.

She continued watching the butterfly until it flew off to another bed of flowers a couple metres ahead of the two.

"Is that why?" _Is that why you are always the top of our class?_ was what he asked.

Rei smiled and shook her head. "Scholarship students have to maintain their ranks within the Top 10." She caught up to the butterfly that found itself beneath blossoming tree. "But it sure did offer a lot of incentive when he brought me flowers."

Even though at the back of her mind, he would have brought her flowers any day of the year so long as she asked for them.

Mori understood why she loved him as much as he did. He was thoughtful. Rei was his everything, his purpose and his reason to live in the midst of the mess he gotten himself into. And she saw that, she saw his sincerity above anything else. She was not blind to the way he lived, but she was blinded each time he spent time with her. When he left, Rei was brought back to the dreary reality. And when he left for good, Rei had to stay in the lonely reality by herself, forever.

She was beginning to form tears in her eyes when she turned away from him. He could hear her inhaling a deep breath. She looked up towards the sky in an attempt to keep her tears at bay. Rei closed her eyes and exhaled. She refused to let tears fall today.

Mori picked off a small branch of blooming flowers off the tree and walked in front of her. She blinked the droplets of water away and brought her eyes to focus on the branch presented before her. Mori ushered it forward and said nothing.

Rei slowly took the branch from his hand, and nodded in acknowledgement. She tried smiling, even though her throat was still caught.

"Thank you," she croaked.

Mori left the girl and he didn't see her until their last year together began.

* * *

**A/N:** It's a two-shot type of thing. Brace yourself, the next chapter is long. But thank you to those who have made it this far.


	2. Present

**Present**

He was now a third year, tall and mighty while he stood over the halls beside his cousin. To his peripheral vision he noticed her again, it was a daily occurrence – their brief moments of eye contact throughout their days. She always looked away, her expression delicate and timid before she walked to class to avoid the crowd of girls that had already gathered around him and his cousin.

She changed her hair again. The ends of her hair were dyed a lighter brown as it faded into her dark roots. Her hair was curled today and she wore grey nail polish. She looked older, matured. She looked beautiful.

Mori was careful not glance for too long and turned his attention back to Honey.

She sat in her usual spot, in the back of the class by the windows. The new start to the year made her no different from the past. By the time their lunch break came along, she disappeared. Mori did his regular routine of walking along by the windows to the courtyard, only to find the place empty. The bench was cleared and the area behind the pillars had nobody to fill in the shadows. Mori kept walking down the halls, towards the Linguistics wing before heading back to the common lunch area.

"You are not allowed to drop this class, Rei."  
"I did. I don't want to take World Literature. I'm done with your silly assignments."  
"So what? You took a useless history course?"  
"No, but that is rather offensive to Professor Keito, your colleague."

Mori could recognize her voice from a mile away if he had to. There was a moment of silent tension between the father and daughter in the classroom. The door had been closed, but their voices cut through the walls like bullets.

"You never listen."  
"I always listen. But I also make my own choices," she corrected.  
"You make _poor_ choices. You think you are capable of the world when you have not seen what the world is made of."  
"Well perhaps it is because of all the fiction I have to read for your class. Allow me to have a dose of reality when I take World Issues with Professor Keito."

Mori jogged down the hall in an attempt to hide his eavesdropping before Rei stepped out of the classroom. He wondered if she caught a glimpse of him escaping. How embarrassing that would have been.

In the afternoon, they made eye contact with each other before going to their respective classes. She walked into Lecture Hall 102 for World Issues while Mori walked into the adjacent hall for World Literature.

An hour later, Mori found her walking to the library for her spare period. Their schedules always aligned, except for this year when she deviated from taking her father's class. Mori was careful not to catch her attention so he walked a couple metres behind.

She turned into the school library and took a seat at her usual spot. It had only been the first day of school and for her, it only meant it was the first day to get ahead in her courses. She opened up her World Issues textbook and began making notes on the pre-readings that were assigned.

Mori did not have the heart to bother her when she looked so concentrated. He sat diagonally from Rei at the same table and did the same. He began reading the assigned novel from his previous class, likely something she had already read since her father taught the class.

Rei powered her way through one section and looked out the window. Mori wondered if that was an invitation to speak to her. He decided against it and went back to his novel, stealing glances at the girl who was mesmerized by the outdoors. When he was caught looking at her, Rei tilted her head.

"Ah. Hello," she greeted him quietly. "I didn't notice you there."

Mori shrugged. It was fine, almost preferred if she hadn't noticed.

She went back to her notes and they didn't speak again.

* * *

Mori never saw her outside in the courtyard ever again, or behind the pillars. She spent all her time in the library, burying her head in her books and studying. One afternoon during his spare, he found himself taking a walk in the courtyard, and naturally his legs took him to the bench that she usually sat on.

The bench faced the fountain that ceased to function because of the winter months. The wind grew colder and screeched against his ears. Mori took it as a sign to go back inside. But not before snaking his way through the pillars that hid the former couple over the years. Now, it was empty and miserable.

Mori began to understand why Rei stopped coming.

When he found himself at the library again, she was looking outside the window. The view was towards the entrance of the school instead of the courtyard. Rei looked a little disappointed by the scene and sighed before picking up her pen.

Mori took a seat in front of her this time.

She was too tired today to greet him verbally and instead Rei glanced at him before returning back to her studies. Pieces of her hair began falling from her bun, and soon she felt her hair loosening. The small things that went wrong in her day began irritating her. She huffed and took apart her hair. Rei decided to tie the whole thing up in a quick ponytail instead.

"It looks fine."

He was always quiet enough to blend into the background. She had forgotten he was there. Rei tied up her hair anyway. It was a hassle to have her hair make a curtain over her notes. She tried to concentrate again.

"You never go there anymore." His voice cut through the silence.

Who was she kidding, even if she tried to forget by distracting herself, it would have been useless. Mori just happened to come at the right time, when Kai had been at the back of her mind all day.

"Third year is busier than usual," Rei made a lame excuse. They both knew it was a lie. Mori sat back in his chair and stared blankly to nothing in particular.

"You've moved on." It wasn't an observation, or a question. But the way he spoke, it seemed to be open ended.

"Trying to," Rei murmured. "But it's his birthday."

Mori nodded. As he usually did, when he had no words to offer.

"When is your birthday?" Rei tried to change the topic.  
"May 5th ," he answered. Politely, he asked when hers was.  
"August 23rd." She was a summer baby. Mori was born in the spring.

"It's been a particularly bad day," the girl tried to smile, as if smiling would cover up the pain Mori observed in her eyes on a regular basis. It was hard to notice if you weren't looking for it. Happy people had a glint in their eye, Mori saw it in Honey. But with her, her large brown eyes were dull.

"Why?" was a regular question he asked her.

"I argued with my dad, which isn't uncommon but... it was a bitter start to the day."

Mori did not say anything. He only listened. He waited for her to continue when she stopped.

"The weather is exceptionally cold today. I forgot my scarf." Rei chuckled to herself. How silly these small things were, she must have seemed like a whining child to him. She snuck a glance at Mori. He only stared back. It was the same gentle gaze that he kept up over the years. It encouraged her to continue but to also stop at whenever she felt like it.

"I lost the pencil he gave me. It was my favourite. It was metallic grey, the paint was already chipping off but it worked splendidly. And then," Rei looked out the window. "I also ran out of cigarettes to smoke."

Rei exhaled and turned her gaze back down to her notes. "The fountain stopped working too. The bench had been replaced over the summer break." Their bench, the bench they always sat on had a small engraving of their names. It was ridiculous, she knew it too. But Kai had carved it with a pocket knife one day while she read and told her that their bench was forever theirs.

"It's like the universe is forcing me to forget him."

"You don't want to?" Mori didn't mean for the question to sound so harsh. Of course she wouldn't want to forget him. Rei knew what he meant, of course. She never took offense to his questions.

"Moving forward does not mean forgetting," Rei explained.

"You are still stuck in time," Mori pointed out. "You are not moving forward. You are living each day as it is, but you are still blind."  
"Blind to what?" Rei had never heard him speak for more than a sentence and when he did, it turned out he had more to offer than what she expected.

Mori shrugged. That was up to her to decide. He told her what he saw of her but he surely wasn't asking her to get over it. Mori wasn't telling her to stop mourning, to stop grieving over her loss because that wasn't in his control or his place. Rei thought about his words for a while.

Time stopped moving for her when Kai died. She was suddenly abandoned and forced to find her own way. Like being abandoned on a train, Kai gotten off a stop too early and the train moved forward and only forward. Rei felt like she was stuck in a compartment without knowing what direction the endless ride was moving towards. She sat there, lonely and afraid. Although lost, Rei was safe being stuck in the same compartment. She was familiar with it as she looked out the window to watch the outside, watching seasons change and people living as if nothing was wrong. And soon, it felt as though nothing was wrong.

But things were wrong. She was trapped in this box and eventually began pretending that she wasn't. She thought the ride would take her to a destination, only that the destination was unknown and she didn't seem to care where it went.

Rei knew that, at the back of her mind she needed an exit. She needed to travel a route that wasn't on tracks, one that wasn't predestined for sorrow and heartbreak. She needed to get off at a stop, to walk on her two feet.

Rei wasn't allowed to be blinded or trapped from life any longer.

But it was hard.

It was hard to stop.

* * *

Mori silently began accompanying her after their last class every day. It became a routine to study with Rei during his spare. She didn't seem to mind. As usual she was polite and generous enough to allow his presence. Never once did she miss a beat and always acknowledged his company when he sat down.

Months passed by and Rei was of course, first of their class when it was midway through their last year of Ouran. Takashi had nearly forgotten about his limited time at the academy before Haruhi had brought it up the day before at the club. She asked what his plans were for the future and Mori was about to reply before his cousin swept him away to eat cake.

Mori planned to continue his studies at the University of Tokyo, studying Philosophy. He turned to Rei when he noticed her looking up from her notebook. She began wearing her glasses more often and took them off by letting them sit on the top of her head while she rested. It brought the hair out of her face.

He wondered what Rei's plan for the future was like. But he was unsure whether or not it was appropriate to ask. Did it even matter? They were all bound to go separate ways and meeting again in life would only be fate. If there was such a thing as fate, of course.

"You look like you want to ask me something," Rei always spoke softly. Her voice gentle, almost soothing.

"Where are you going?" His deep voice echoed at a low volume to match hers. It was such a vague question to any passerby. Where was she going... after her spare, after class, or right now?

"Oxford," she replied, understanding exactly what he meant. It was far. She was leaving in a couple months for a place halfway across the world. "I'll be studying Literature."

"Like your father?" he suggested.  
"No," Rei shook her head. "I do not plan to be like him."  
"You won't be a professor?"  
"I didn't say that. But I am my own person. My choices are mine," Her voice grew more assertive with every sentence.

Rei paused and relented. She leaned back in her seat. "Sorry, that was harsh."  
He shook his head. Mori understood. Carving out an identity for yourself that is separate from the shadow that constantly swallowed you up was an uphill battle. She was herself and no one else. She was not her father's daughter. Rei worked hard to define herself as a separate entity.

Mori was unsure if he felt the same. His duty to Honey and his family was not a shadow. It was not a burden. It was a daily part of his life, and he lived to serve just like the rest of his family. There was nothing else, and nobody else in the way.

Mori reassured himself that his duty was the only priority.

"You look troubled," Rei commented.

He shook his head. She pretended to seem oblivious to his lie.

But she did not pry.

They continued to study.

* * *

On their graduating day, he saw her holding a bouquet of white roses. Mori wondered who it was from, perhaps her father. Though white was a particularly odd colour to present to a graduating student when white signified death. Pictures were taken and graduating caps were thrown into the air, the typical traditions were done during the ceremony. Rei participated with a small smile but disappeared shortly after with her bouquet.

Mori left Honey with the rest of the hosts and quietly slipped away to the only place he figured she would be. Rei wandered around the courtyard of Ouran, with the cherry trees blossoming and the flowers coming into full bloom. It was the last time she would have the chance to walk back to their spot and likely the last time Mori would ever see her.

He watched her closely, waiting as she approached the bench she used to sit on a daily basis. Even though the bench was not the same, she hesitantly took a seat. The black graduation gown was the perfect contrast against the bouquet of white roses she held. Carefully, she took a rose out of the bouquet and placed it on the bench.

It was a farewell.

Rei stood from the bench and walked over to the maze, another place they used to spend time at. She took a rose and placed it in the shrub, and then walked her way through the whole thing to leave another rose at the exit. She would miss the days of hide and seek within the maze, even though they both memorized each nook and cranny of the place.

Rei slowly made her way through the gardens, and laid another rose at the gazebo. There was only one place left – his favourite place. The place that held the most privacy, the corner that shielded them from the cold, damp or windy weather when they only had each other.

Mori began walking down towards the pillars they hid at for years. He made it on time to find Rei gently putting down the rest of her bouquet in a small corner. She stood there for a couple minutes, basking in the memories and reminiscing of the times she had before turning around to notice him standing there.

"It was his favourite spot."

Rei walked away without looking back and stopped in front of Mori. He towered over her and it wasn't until the very last day that she noticed. She looked down and smiled to herself at how silly it was. He seemed to know so much about her and yet she knew little about him. But nevertheless, it did not take away from her gratitude towards the boy.

"Thank you," she said. "For listening and for noticing." Rei had to crane her neck upwards to make eye contact with him. She smiled, a genuine one this time. Though her eyes still told him that she was still broken.

"You're welcome," he mumbled.

"Goodbye." She gave a small wave before walking away. Rei passed him without another glance and she was already well on her way before Mori posed another question. Perhaps the last question he would ever ask.

"Do you believe in fate?"

Rei stopped in her tracks and contemplated the question for a second. The girl turned around and shook her head. She didn't believe in fate. Rei looked at him for the very last time, remembering his gentle gaze despite his monstrous height. His spiky black hair, along with his confident yet aloof stance. There was something about him that made her regret having to leave so soon. But there was no choice if she needed to move forward.

She turned around and this time, he didn't call for her back.

* * *

"Takashi."

Mori looked down towards his cousin. Honey was frowning. Something was wrong.

They were taking a walk through the park during Honey's favourite season. It had been a year since they both graduated from the Academy and they recently finished their first year in university. The spring was beautiful, with cherry blossoms petals falling with the cool breeze. Honey held onto his cousin's hand, watching Mori blankly stare into a void of nothing.

"You are sad," Honey could tell, even if Mori never admitted it. His duty to his cousin would constantly trump over his own happiness and this frustrated Honey more than anything. Tradition was important, but as was the well being of his family. Honey was no longer the immature child who selfishly wanted his cousin all to himself. He wanted his best friend to stay by his side but true friendship was not one sided.

"You don't have to stay beside me anymore," Mori felt a tug on his arm. Honey wanted his cousin's full attention. "You do not need my permission to live, Takashi. It isn't fair to you."

Mori was unsure what it meant to live. To properly live without his duty to serve was a foreign concept and one that he refused to contemplate for long. It was wrong for him to even have thoughts of deterring from tradition.

"Takashi, please. Are you listening to me?"

Mori could only nod and Honey took his cousin's familiar gesture as a promise to his words.

* * *

It was an autumn day in England. Cold and windy, the overcast sky threatened to pour rain on the residents that walked through the park. Mori had settled in for the last couple of months, deciding to do a year on exchange at Oxford. It was a spontaneous decision. By the end of his second year of university, he applied and by good fortune he landed himself coincidentally at the same place she attended.

Was he hoping to see her again? Mori was unsure. Rei never came up in his thoughts as often as she did while they were still in school. But every once in a while, he wondered. If she still looked the same, if she still kept up her studious habits and whether or not she found herself to be content with life.

Mori had explored the area, already familiar the main streets and local cafes. He lived in the residence, along with fellow exchange students who busied themselves with each other. Mori preferred to opt out of their gatherings and social events. He very much enjoyed spending time alone. It gave him a peace of mind.

The university campus spanned over such a large area it was impossible to scour out one person in particular. Mori never attempted to find her. Instead, he allowed fate to do its job. Mori was unsure why he asked her such a thing in the first place. It was a silly question but it gave him a strange sense of hope in knowing that perhaps, their paths will cross one day if fate allowed them to.

The weather made him nostalgic of the days at Ouran when he found her sitting on a bench, usually alone. He didn't think of her often, but small things like the weather always triggered his memory. Mori was on his way home from a lecture, like many other students who passed through the park.

Mori looked around to observe his surroundings and found himself behind a man walking his small dog. His phone rang, which caused the dog owner's attention to shift towards the urgent call. Unfortunately this also meant that his overly energetic dog found its way out of its owner's leash and ran forward, leaving the man behind.

Mori watched the distressed man end the call and immediately began to jog forward to find his furry, white Maltese. A couple hundred metres ahead, the small dog was spotted with its hind legs trying to jump onto the lap of a stranger. It was happy as it could possibly be while being scratched behind its head. Mori noticed the hands first, the fingers delicate and the nails were painted a deep burgundy colour. The stranger wore a dark trench coat, paired with knee high leather boots that shielded most of their legs from the cold.

The stranger looked up towards the dog owner who apologized profusely. Mori could not see the face being covered by the man. But he heard a familiar sound. He heard the sweet laughter and the reassurance to the owner that it was not a bother at all. Finally moving out of the way, the dog and its owner walked ahead to allow Mori to put a face to the familiar sound.

She looked the same, even though her hair was now dyed to a light brown. The loose curls fell effortlessly down her shoulder and her arms were crossed in the usual stance she always had while she stood. Rei watched the dog leave with a smile before picking up the book on the bench. She wore a scarf that draped over her neck and a thin silver chain that Mori couldn't make out the details of.

Mori wanted to move forward to say hello, but he couldn't find the words to say after that. Rei looked like she had been doing well and that was enough for him to be content.

Rei placed the book in her handbag and decided to walk home for today. It was not a usual occurrence for her to find time to read on the bench. It had been her day off in months from working at the youth shelter, where was a part-time counselor. When she turned to walk the usual way home, she spotted a familiar figure watching her from afar.

His height was a hard thing to forget and the gaze he held had been unchanged over the past three years. What a small world it was, she thought. Rei walked towards the gentle giant who stood there, his expression blank.

"Hello," she greeted him the same way she did years ago. He nodded in response. Some things would never change.

"Perhaps fate does exist, hm?"

Mori cracked a small smile, the first smile she had ever seen in her life from him.

* * *

It must have been a decade since they had first met.

When Rei had left for England three years ago, she felt as though a new void opened up while the previous wound had eventually healed. A fresh new start was what she needed to stand on her two feet again, where she learned to pave her own happiness without the dependence of someone else.

It was refreshing. Rei learned to breathe again and she learned to love again. She loved the crisp morning air, she loved the passion she felt for her field of study, and she loved helping other youth stand on their own two feet. She found purpose in her life.

And yet, there was still missing a piece. Rei had lost her closest confidant and her only friend that stood by her during the times she needed someone most. She regretted not being able to show more of her gratitude to him. She wished she could have snuck in another thank you, or to return the favour while he was troubled. But most of all, she wished that he found his own happiness wherever that may have been.

Mori had showed up in front of her three years later, in a park on a cloudy day. She couldn't quite place a finger on what she felt. It was like being transported to their days at the academy, where his presence gave her a sense of support, a safety net, or a rock to lean on.

He had become her rock over those years. He stayed for her, like how Rei stayed for Kai. The difference was that Rei learned to let go, willingly. She grew, she matured and she moved on. She didn't need Mori any more.

But a part of her did genuinely miss him.

"Why did you come back?" Rei asked. It was in the middle of winter, in the midst of their second term of the school year. Snow had begun to fall as they walked through the usual park where they first met again, halfway across the world. They usually walked in silence. But sometimes, Mori would pick her brain. He was a philosophy student after all, and he posed questions. She gave him her opinion. He liked listening to her the most.

Mori usually answered her questions as well, in less than three sentences. But this time he stood silent. He was unsure what made him come back to her. Was it fate? Fate that somehow brought them together after three years apart. Mori was still unsure.

His decision to leave Japan had more to do with learning to live freely. He was trying to find happiness by treading through his own path whilst leaving behind all that he knew about old life. He needed a fresh start and applying for exchange seemed like the logical thing to do. It was a coincidence that he ended up at Oxford when he sent in the papers through the university office – he applied later than most students and as a result, he was not guaranteed a spot. Whatever he was given, Mori was prepared to take.

The first few months in a foreign land was more of a learning experience than a struggle. He enjoyed the freedom and he loved observing a whole new environment. He took the last couple of months to reflect upon himself. What was his plan for the future? What made him happy? What did it mean to live?

And then she appeared.

And he stopped searching for those answers.

Because Mori realized that those answers would come when the time was right. There was no rush to find meaning in his life. The most important thing was, to live. To live with an open mind, to experience new things and to see the world in different perspectives.

But his favourite perspective was hers.

He didn't know why, or why he was so drawn to her. But he wasn't planning on finding those answers. Mori only patiently waited. The answer was bound to appear. It always came in time when he was with her.

Rei let the question go as they kept walking. He looked like he was already in deep thought. She didn't have the heart to snap him out of it. Mori was after all, a philosophy student. He thought more than he spoke. And each time he offered his words, it brought her a sense of comfort, no matter what he said.

* * *

Heavy rain poured outside. After three years, it was not a surprise to Rei. Mori too, wasn't irritated by the rain. Weather in general did not faze the gentle giant in any shape or form. They both found themselves studying in the same cafe, the one that they both agreed to be the best in the area. The brick walls and the small space gave it a homey feel. There was a hidden space at the back, where the regulars sat. The space was relatively quiet, with only the sound of coffee brewing and baristas taking orders.

They met again in the cafe by coincidence shortly after their first meeting. Then it became a routine to study on the weekends together. There was no set time. They walked in and out whenever they pleased. But the only constant was that they always found each other sometime in the afternoon.

This time, Mori bought her coffee after noticing her on the verge of nodding off. When he arrived with the cup in hand, Rei responded with a tired smile and a meek thank you. She continued typing on her laptop after taking a much needed sip of coffee.

Mori settled himself down diagonally from Rei. He was dressed in his usual hoodie, with his sleeves rolled up to his forearms. She of course, looked more put together. Her makeup became more defined as she grew, with her eyes lined and highlighted by neutral tones. They were framed by thin brows and her square glasses. She wore a wool cardigan, paired with jeans that tucked right into her winter boots. Mori always stole glances at her when he was bored of his work.

"Define love," Mori broke the comfortable silence. The tapping of her keyboard ceased and Rei decided it was probably time for a break. Mori enjoyed picking her brain for open ended answers, usually for inspiration for term papers in philosophy. She took off her glasses and as usual, let them rest on her head, it was a habit since Ouran. Rei contemplated an answer but after a few seconds, she couldn't quite decide on a fitting response.

"Love is too broad of a term. Specify."  
"Your love... with Kai," The man was hesitant in bringing up the topic. He watched as her face grew from curiosity to deeper thought. Her eyes did not falter into the dull ones he remembered throughout high school. Her eyes were restless, usually when she thought about his questions she took the time to put together a genuine response.

"I think... love changes when you grow. The definition of love, I mean." Rei paused and took another second to collect her thoughts.

"My love for Kai was genuine. Perhaps even borderline obsessive, but that didn't mean it was any less true. I think he felt the same. Love felt like... an unbreakable bond, it felt eternal. He was my best friend, my favourite person in the world and my world revolved around him like his revolved around me. It was beautiful, and it was one of a kind.

"But we were young and I was aware of our circumstances. He was... rash and couldn't quite look far enough into the future to see that we wouldn't last like I did. And even when I told him, he didn't care. He was so enamoured by being together he was willing to be blind and soon, I joined him.

"In hindsight, our love was rather unrealistic. But I think that is what young love is. Young love is unrealistic, dangerous and exhilarating. It captures your soul and it forces you to endure through the pain and heartbreak because that is the price you pay."

She spoke calmly and serenely, with her back leaned against the chair. She came to accept what happened in the past and with time, she grew and learned to understand better. Mori never found her more beautiful than when she spoke with such depth and thought. He watched as she took another sip of her coffee and smiled at him. She smiled with her eyes. That was how Mori knew she was alright. She was happy.

"How about now?" Mori posed another question. _What is your definition of love now that you are older?_

"Hm," Rei was stuck at a roadblock. "I think love at our age differs from young love. Or those who have experienced young love perceive love in a greater variety of ways.

"Love is... more realistic or practical when you are older. You look for partners that provide stability emotionally, physically, and financially. Priorities shift and expectations become more rigid. Is that bad? Perhaps not in the long run. Healthy relationships blossom when things are kept in check. But is it less exciting? It seems so. But it isn't true.

"Love is such a subjective term and emotion. Love is exciting in itself. However old or young, love is an emotion humans crave and desire. It never ends. It never stops. You see love with family members, with friends and your pets. Love is... broad."

Rei glanced at Mori who nodded. But he wasn't satisfied in her answer. He wanted her to continue. He wanted a more personal answer it seemed. She drank another sip of coffee before continuing.

"I think... love is a very natural feeling. It is never forced. There is no set point in time where you 'fall in love' or 'fall out' of love. It just happens. You are drawn to somebody and you can't stop. You feel comfort in their presence but you also feel like you have enough adrenaline to run a kilometre. It is such a mess of emotions, but it feels... incredible. It is the pain that you are willing to endure so long as they come back to you. It is everything, all at once."

"I see." Mori seemed satisfied with her answer when he replied. It was a rare occurrence, as he usually nodded and went back into typing. Rei decided that it was a long enough break and she put her glasses back on.

They both got back to work.

* * *

It was the last term of the school year, and for Rei, it was also her last term at Oxford. She was graduating. Mori however, had to return back to Japan to finish off his last year. Even though it was spring, it was a very different season from what it was like in Japan.

There were no cherry blossoms blowing in the wind, with gardens that bloomed annually. It was rain every day, and it felt like no end. Even through the rain, they walked through the park sharing her umbrella because Mori never bothered to bring his. The water never bothered him, and he always ran from class to class with his backpack.

"Where are you going?" Mori asked while they walked through the rain. It was still cold and damp, but he emanated warmth beneath the umbrella.

Rei laughed. He asked the exact same question years ago and he didn't even seem to care about the full circle they came to.

"I'll be pursuing my Master's degree here."  
"You like it here." His tone was in between asking a question and making an observation. Rei couldn't quite tell. But regardless, his voice always encouraged her to keep speaking.

"Oxford has been lovely the past few years. I don't think I am ready to go back to Japan," Rei admitted.  
"Will you?" _Will you one day return?_ was what he meant.

They walked in silence for a few metres. Rei thought about it seriously and tried to imagine life in Japan.

"No," she decided. "Not permanently."  
"I see."

Rei was not exactly skilled at analyzing the different tones of his voice because the phrases he spoke were so limited, it was hard for her to decipher. However, she was sure he seemed disappointed by her answer. Rei too, was sad to disappoint him as well. It wasn't like she planned for herself to permanently reside here years ago. She liked the life she had built here and planned on continuing with it.

"You'll be going back home, won't you?" Rei had come to appreciate his presence again. He was like a permanent part of her life now, only that he came with a warranty that expired soon. Deep down, Rei had been bracing for the day he had to leave. She did not have the audacity to ask him to stay. He wouldn't have any reason to stay, especially not for her. She provided him with nothing in return, except occasional thoughts and her gratitude.

Mori only replied with an affirming noise. "Mm."

They walked for a couple more metres, listening to the rain pitter-pattering against the umbrella and all around them. They were alone in the park. She stopped in her tracks and faced Mori. Rei was still unsure about what to say about their impending separation. But she figured that it was better to say it early.

"Don't forget me, please," Rei decided that it was the most appropriate thing to ask of him. She wasn't ready for him to leave yet. Mori stared back into her eyes. Her eyes always gave her feelings away. The woman was scared but she was still prepared to be hurt. Nothing could hurt more than what happened years ago. But that didn't mean she wouldn't feel pain. The only difference was the amount of pain she would endure.

"I won't," Mori assured. She smiled, with her mouth and not her eyes. Rei couldn't fool him even if she tried.

"Good," Rei nodded and continued on walking.

* * *

It was a rare day where it didn't rain. Partly cloudy and windy, but it was the ideal day and also very close to the exam period of their last term. But it didn't matter. It was a routine for them to walk through the park together. It was bliss.

And it was likely one of the last times they would ever spend together before they went their separate ways. Rei still hadn't come to terms with Mori's departure, but now was not the time to process complex feelings. She took each day as it was and was grateful for whatever time they had left.

He was always quiet. Although today there was a strange silence between the two. Rei wasn't sure if it was her fault as she began thinking about his departure, or if something was troubling Mori. Nonetheless, the two continued walking like it wasn't an issue.

Mori spotted a bench, comfortably situated underneath the shade of trees and beside a pond. He led Rei towards the spot, disregarding the fact that they both had exams to study for.

"It's pretty," Rei sat on the bench first and admired the scenery. She breathed in the fresh air and basked in the sunlight. Usually, he would ask her a question by now. Either that or she'd ask about his classes. But today, she wanted to just sit. She wanted to think for a while and to process her thoughts about him, while he was still there.

Before she had a chance to gather her thoughts like she usually did, Mori broke the silence.

"I'm in love with you."

Rei turned to face the man and wondered if she heard him correctly. Mori watched as her eyes searched for an explanation in his face, she was trying to read him in ways that she was familiar with. He could tell that she was begging for an explanation, preferably in words. So he gave her it.

"I don't know when it began. It was natural, like you said. I wasn't expecting it. Your voice, your thoughts, your habits, your face, your hair – I can remember it all vividly, in my sleep or far away from you. I just want to be beside you. Or close to you. Or... with you. Just you is enough.

"You once asked, why I was here. Why I came back – and I wasn't sure. I came looking for answers and stopped looking because I met you. You provide me with answers, effortlessly. And I too, wondered why I came back to you specifically.

"I fell in love with you without realizing it. That was why."

Rei's eyes were brimming with tears. Overwhelmed with emotions, she was unsure what to make of it all. She didn't have the time to process them. She wasn't in the right state to make a collected conclusion of what she felt towards Mori.

Mori too, was unsure of the next step. But he left her sitting by the pond and there she sat for hours. The sun was already beginning to set before she stood from the bench.

* * *

They didn't make contact for the next couple of days. Busy with exams, it was difficult to make contact anyway. Mori had a heavy feeling in his chest that he carried with him each day. He wondered if it was a good idea to go look for her. But he decided against it, afraid that he was too much of a bother to Rei. She was a good student, an honours student that was on the verge of graduating too. Mori decided to be considerate by focusing on his own studies.

He still had one last exam left, the last one before finishing his year of exchange. Mori's mind was clouded with emotion, making it difficult for him to actually study. He stayed in his dorm instead of the cafe to study, figuring that Rei must have gone there instead. Was he deliberately avoiding her? Mori was not ready to be reflective on an important night like this. Out of frustration, he threw his notebook against his door. It made a loud thud, likely startling a lot of the students that lived near him.

Reluctantly, Mori stood from his desk to pick up his notebook that had its pages falling out. The timing was perfect when he heard a soft knock right at the door.

"Takashi?" she softly called out his name. She never actually greeted him by his name, or even surname. And neither did he. But he would have recognized the voice any time. He checked his watch. It was almost midnight.

Mori couldn't leave her standing the hallway. He opened the door to find a girl soaked from head to toe. It looked like she ran from wherever she came from to his residence.

"I—" Rei was at a loss of words, suddenly. "I couldn't study without you," she sheepishly finished. Mori opened the door wider so that she could come into his room. It was a small place, with a bathroom, bed and desk. A closet door sat opposite the bed. It wasn't exactly a room built for two people.

She set her bag down and looked for a suitable place to sit. There wasn't.

They stood in silence for a couple seconds before Rei took the leap of courage.

"Why would you leave me there?" She sat on the bench for hours, trying to process what she felt and how she felt. If only he had been there to listen. But he wasn't. For the first time, he wasn't there when she needed him the most.

Mori didn't know how to answer that question.

"You left me confused but happy. You left me feeling relieved and devastated. You left me feeling like I'd lost you but still... had you. It was everything, all at once."

She was on the verge of crying again. She knew what she felt, but she hadn't said those words in so long. She was overwhelmed again. Rei stood in the middle of his room, facing the giant who only listened to her, like he always did.

He didn't have to hear her say it.

_It was everything, all at once._ He knew those words like the back of his hand.

Mori stepped forward and held her in his arms. He was warm. He made her feel safe. She was soaking wet but it didn't matter. He felt her arms around his waist, and he held her tighter with her head tucked comfortably beneath his chin. Mori kissed the top of her head and she felt him resonate in a low laughter. It must have seemed so silly to anyone watching him holding onto a woman that was soaked from head to toe, standing in the middle of what seemed to be the smallest room ever.

"Why are you laughing?" she was amused. "Surely you can't be laughing at me being wet. It isn't fair when I ran across campus to see you at midnight."

He pulled apart and kissed her. He didn't feel the need to explain. He was happy. He was laughing out of happiness.

She giggled when he pulled away from her lips. He looked into her eyes, now closer than ever. Her arms were comfortably around his neck and she reached to kiss his cheek sweetly. He smiled, a big smile. One she never saw him smile before. He was a gentle giant. He'd always been a gentle giant.

"Perhaps it's time for us to go back into studying," Rei suggested with a grin. Mori shook his head.

Studying was a silly option now that she was in his arms.

* * *

Whether they were together, or a couple thousand kilometers apart – they were in love. They craved each other's presence. They missed each other's voices. They wanted to see each other, every day, all day. It didn't matter what they were doing.

It took them ten years to find each other.

They travelled, they learned, and they grew without one another before finding love. Love was a journey, a time consuming and complex one at that. They found happiness in life, though it was important to note that happiness was not synonymous to love.

Love was a component to their happiness.

Mori contemplated these thoughts while he sat on the bench with her and asked her a question. The sun was beginning to set and she leaned on his shoulder for support.

"What do you think about fate?"

Rei looked at him and thought about it. She realized he would be picking at her brain for the rest of her life. The thought of it made her smile. "Well..."

* * *

**A/N:** Mori's character has always fascinated me and this idea had always been at the back of my mind. I'll try to keep this A/N short, but I think I will be posting a longer, in-depth reasoning of this story on my tumblr later (link is on my profile). Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read this ginormous chapter. I can understand why this two-shot thing may seem like a bore, but well - I mean. I tried. Leave your comments and reviews, I'd love to hear what you all thought.


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